Also, my bike had no brakes...

I´ve been up to the usual, you know. Ate some funky foods. Taught an investigator, on accident, that Sunday is the day to poop ourselves, spiritually. Last Monday, we went mtn. biking. It was super cool, but the thing was that I got the last bike, and the rental place had run out of the nice ones. Everyone else got cool mountain-bikes, and I, of course, got a shiny-silver, low-down, tall handlebars, gangster cruiser. On our ride through the town, I was not short of strange looks and giggles from the natives. Also, my bike had no brakes, and I´m sure all the hikers thought I was out of my mind, speeding down the hills, screaming, on the completely wrong type of bike. My companion leaves today, and I get my new one Wednesday He´s going back home to Arrequipa! I want to see Arrequipa after my mission. That´s where the good chocolate is.

The "last supper" with our pentionista! Classic Diego (the crazy kid). They took us out, and we ate cow. Cow throat, cow foot, cow steak. Just... cow. It was delicious!

We did a lot of contacting in the jungle this week, which was fun. Except one man gave us dirty water in old dirty mugs with sticks and bugs. And, of course, I drank all of it, with a prayer for health in my heart. I´m actually a little used to the bugs at this point. There´s usually bugs in the food, but we just look away and eat it anyway. It´s those bear-necesities, you know.

Our awesome mission leader, Hermano Hendry. He got bit by a bug and is undergoing some nasty treatment, and barely has energy, but he still is always super animated and looking to help. Just a great guy. He owns the Recreo Tirol.

Some of our best friends. Hermana Betty and her daughter, Hermana Paola. They were less active, and now they´re super active. They always give us food and soda. Yes, we´re standing on their roof.

"Pffffff. Freaking Reddit´s down again."

At this school, they learn very uselful skills. Such as:

-Play futbol like an egyptian.

-Do yoga while tossing a ball over a little lamp-post.

-Streaking in the moonlight.

-How to avoid sharks, and water, while swimming.

I don´t have much to tell you because I´m putting it all in my letter. Which I´ll send soon. We´re working super hard, but in a way that doesn´t really feel like hard work because we love it! No packages, yet... I was joking about the dubstep. I don´t want to be a doctor. I haven´t met any not good missionaries yet. We have mostly good ones in our mission. And in this zone, especially. My health has been much better! We have two couples getting married and baptised soon! Whooo! The investigators are great. Yeah!

Much love,

Elder Alexander

Oodalolly oodalolly, golly what a semana!

Oodalolly oodalolly, golly what a semana. Last P-day, we rented Reck-it Ralph. It was super cool. But now all the misionaries can´t stop singing the Sugar Rush song. Our president is great. I think we have a lot in common. My companion leaves Monday, and I´m a little nervous/excited about that. We had to move the devils pineapple again today because it was dying. Speaking of food, I ate chicken heart, sticky fruit, fried blood, and wasp. The chicken heart tasted how you´d expect. Sticky fruit is yummy and quite sticky. Fried blood is nasto-patronum. And I´d really rather not talk about the wasp. My companion got bit by a big horsefly. So he murdered it with a talk by Lawrence E. Corbridge. My companion is so odd. The other day in a lesson, a chicken pooped on his Book of Mormon. So he picked up the poor chicken and used it to wipe the poop off. I´m going to miss that guy. I love the people here.

 Everyone always says that their desires change a lot in the mission. I think that´s true. I´ve actually decided that I need to write dubstep. It started with a dream, in the which I had the brilliant idea to make a dubstep-mix with the dialogue from Forest Gump. And ever since then, I keep having great ideas for dubsteps. I think I was meant to become a dubstep composer. Possibly even one of the greats. We shall see. WWEEERPVROOM DOWMEEERSHWOOOOODUHHH. That´s one of the pieces I´m working on right now. It´s about how sometimes we need to look back, to remember why we move forward. But the President discourages me from writing on days other than P-day. Or anything similar to Mo-Pop.

 I´m actually kind of healthy, which is cool.  If you sent me a package, I would like candies for the childrens. Maybe a cork. Our investigators are brilliant. It´s less how we teach, but their desire to learn. If we can convince them to read the BoM and pray about it, they are ready. The people here are super receptive to the Spirit like that. 

Much love!!!!

Elder Alexander

Hello. This is Elder Alexander.

Hello. 
This is Elder Alexander. I have blondeish brownish hair, and blue eyes. I like being a missionary. I have not been kidnapped.

I will write this letter now.

Man, it rains a lot. We´ve been walking a lot too. It seems silly to polish my shoes every morning as they get filthy in less than a second, haha. But it´s all good fun. I wrote a song...

I don´t mind walking every day.

We´re placing libros in the pouring rain.

Look for cholitos with broken smiles.

Ask if we can come and teach a while.

And they wiiiiiiilllllllllll be baptissseed.

And they wiiiiiiiilllllllllll be ba-ap-ti-iesed!

I actually have been writing a little music, though, in my free time. The other day, I wrote a song about planting trees. Me and my companion have discovered that the mugs of our pentionista are great musical instruments. The handle is almost exactly a half step above the note of the rim. So, therefore, we can play White Rabbit, and Bellalaguisi´s Dead. And that´s about it. Let me know if you have more ideas of songs that use the diminished 2nd a lot. 

I´ve been improving my Español quite a bit. I gave a talk on Sunday and people said it was almost perfect. But I still get some words confused with others sometimes. The other day, we were teaching and I said that Jesus Christ, while on the earth, healed many people. But the words sanar and cenar are very similar. And I actually told them that when Jesus Christ was on the earth, he ate many people for dinner. Which is false doctrine. But aside from the false doctrine I´ve been spreading, I feel like things are going well. 

Kylan is awesome. She is always emails me, haha. We´ve got some great investigators. Last week, we taught a lesson with a girl in a store, and invited her to church and told her to pray about what we taught. On Sunday, she came to church, and brought a friend, and told us she felt something really special when she prayed and she wanted to know more. YEAH! And we´ve got a couple other super cool people too. One 11 year old girl with a super catholic family, but she comes to church every Sunday even though she doesn´t even have friends there or anything. I get my new companion in two weeks.

Last p day we ate pizza at a pizza place, and I was super sick the next morning, but it´s okay now.

 Here is a picture of me before I knew what I was getting myself into.

Love you all forevers and evers and evers, amen.

Elder Alexander

                                                              This is our church building.

"I have to marry an Italian because that´s my destiny."

Hello. This is Elder Alexander. I am writing an email. Would you like to hear it? It is this:

We´ve had a great week, of course. I´m in love with a jungle. Speaking of love, people keep trying to convince me to marry their daughters. To avoid awkwardness, I now just tell everybody I have to marry an Italian because that´s my destiny. And strangely, people seem to accept that. Speaking of awkwardness, the stresses of learning a new culture have manefested themselves in a pimple. Now, I really don´t mind all that much about my appearance, but the problem is this: Yesterday I had to explain to three different people the concept of acne. I´m considering typing up a pamphlet on the subject to give to our investigators. Everyone is just a little worried because it looks like a bug bite and there are diseases going around. But on the bright side, our mango tree in our room is giving fruit and we´ve been feasting on lots of mango. Also, I´ve given away all the peppermint bark and the people think it´s the coolest thing. Also, I´ve stopped accidentally speaking English to our poor investigators. Almost.

 Also, the husband of our pentionista recently discovered that he´s been celebrating his birthday in the wrong month his entire life. I´m still waiting for packages, I believe. I haven´t got the one from Sariah, Grandma, or Kylan yet. I´m feeling much better. I get sick like once a week though, haha. Love you all so much! 

Much love,

Elder Alexander